Time to go home!

So Andy Pandy says (if anybody is old enough to remember that). I do, now that I am officially 52 years and one week, how ancient! Only a few weeks left of my Gambian adventure. Lots of goodbyes to say, house and office to sort, forms to fill, exams to mark and bags to pack.


You know it’s time to go when.......

• a stray tourist walks through the market displaying two lily white knees and you brand them a brazen hussy.

• the little old man begging at the end of the road starts to give you food.

• you start to miss the giant cockroach that lives behind the bookcase.

• you have recurring fantasy dreams about gravy and cheese.

• you prefer using a pit latrine to a flushing loo (maybe I could dig a hole at the end of the garden).

• little black things crawling around in my porridge oats seems quite normal.

• you start to question whether warm showers, washing machines and 24 hour electricity is reality or just a myth.

Looking forward to home comforts but I will be returning with many happy memories.

Visiting Kaur in wild African colours

Sainey's family and new house

Fellow passengers waiting for the ferry

A typical river scene

Pounding breakfast

The college football team apparently I was there honourary manager.

June's last tip - Boil porridge thoroughly to ensure little black things are soft not crunchy.

Cock - a - doodle - do!

Somebody has just turned the thermostat up out here. We are all starting to melt in the midday sun. The students are falling asleep on me. Could that be the sun or my delivery style I ask myself. There is one bonus the water at certain times of the day is coming through the shower hot, hot, hot. Unfortunately too late. It was when I was shivering at 28C I needed the hot water not now that I am baking at 38C.


Nik has just left. We had a relaxing time. We had lots of the four s’s (sun, sea, sand and sleep). We dined like kings, no brown with rice for a fortnight apart from the evening we were reduced to spam and chips (yes they still make the stuff). We took one trip up country to a wetlands reserve (Tendaba) which was an oasis for birders, which is the new and acceptable term for people like to watch birds and not just simply tick them off a list. I too am getting slightly better at identifying some of our feathered friends. They are no longer small, medium and large varieties anymore. I could now tell you what a splendid sunbird looks like and even what a yellow capped gonalek sounds like – impressed! Our journey back on local transport proved to be another bird experience. Nik had to share his seat with a very agitated cock between his legs.

Nik and his agitated cock

Floating through the mangroves

A big tree

Gazing over the river Gambia with a rare bottle of red.

Not long till my time is up now, only twelve weeks at the last count. I am starting to pick up tell tale signs that it is time to go. Like my last few pairs of M&S knickers are being held together with a wing and a prayer. My trip to the beach on Sunday saw my colleague finishing off my chips for me when all the time I was thinking to myself that this should be Nik’s job (that’s one of the marriage vows isn’t it?). I’m also down to my last jar of marmite and bag of tea bags. Maybe I’ll have to start hanging them out on the line. On a positive note, the mango season has started – heaven!

June’s tip for the week – Ensure your cock is happy and well fed before boarding transport.

Anyone for Ants?

A busy time. I’ve been very lucky and had lots of visitors in the past couple of months who have kept me supplied with many tasty goodies from Tetley tea bags to Cadbury’s mini eggs and most importantly CHEESE! I’m currently rationing out my last morsel of cheddar which I will just have to dream about until the end of July. My first visitors Tracy and Ian brought out pencils and rubbers from the lovely kiddy winks at Craneswater junior for the equally lovely little darlings at Kassa Kunda lower basic school. On the way we bought a mountain of exercise books from the local stationary shop and left the shopkeeper a very happy man. We then had the pleasure of handing out all the goodies to each class. We did an excellent impression of Father Christmas and his little helpers.

Happy faces

Next was Lisa and her three playmates all wonderful positive girlies who had a great time soaking up the culture and enjoying the sun, sand and surf. To top it all they had numerous marriage proposals from young (and not so young) gentlemen who obviously saw signs of love, romance and companionship or am I getting confused with UK visas and pound signs somewhere along the line.

Lisa on the beach with two of her mortal enemies.

A birthday beach beakfast

All visitors gone and it was back down to work, teaching, testing and marking. I do believe that all this paperwork which is often completed by candlelight is playing havoc with my eyes. Enter the ants.

My first unfortunate encounter was over breakfast. I have taken to having a squeeze of local honey on my porridge every morning. Now this honey comes in used tomato sauce bottles, which is admirable, I’m all for recycling. Every morning as I flipped the lid and squeezed, little dried flakes of honey sprinkled on my cereal. It wasn’t until day five when I happened to be wearing my specs I realised the honey flakes were moving. On closer inspection I realised that they were minute ants. Oh well, I suppose it is extra protein. Now I take care to inspect before squeezing. No, I didn’t throw the honey out, I’m a tight northerner, remember.

Ant incident number two involved food again. While preparing to make toast in my frying pan on the burner I noticed lots of dried brown onions which must have been left from the Spanish omelette the night before. Specs on revealed a herd of fried ants, the larger cousins of the honey ants. They went to a fried and watery grave. This time they were not consumed.

Incident number three involved food of another type. Having just showered I went to put on my clothes which I’d dumped on the floor outside the bathroom door. Groping around in the dark again I managed to get dressed without getting anything inside out. Within seconds the itching started. Ants in my pants! They were obviously mounting a revenge attack for their cousins the honey and fried ants and decided to sink their pincers into my nether regions. Needless to say I jumped back in the shower over a distance that would put Jonathan Edward’s triple jump record to shame.

June’s monthly tip – When you get to a certain age, wear specs when preparing food and dressing.

A lovely pic even though I say so myself.

Two Worlds

I flew to my world number one for Christmas and was met with tinsel, sparkling lights and trees adorned with baubles and chocolate novelties. Under the tree was a mini mountain of packages and then what I’d been looking forward to was opening the fridge door – WOW! My eyes were on stalks, a real Disney cartoon moment, eyes popping out, jaw dropping and drool dribbling from the sides of my mouth. There sitting on the shelf beckoning to – eat me – was cheese, cheese and more cheese, pigs in blankets, turkey, smoked salmon, gravy and brussel sprouts. I was in heaven. Needless to say by the end of my break I was half a stone heavier.


Dashing around the country visiting family and friends was lovely. En route we stopped off at a four star hotel for a slice of luxury, they even gave us an upgrade. How lucky were we! I had to eat my words as we got an unexpected present – food poisoning, which is a little bit ironic when I think about all the food bowls I’ve shared and munched my way through. Luckily I exploded from both ends before leaving the hotel. Nik wasn’t so lucky. While walking along the road in Anfield on our way to watch Liverpool v Newcastle, Nik’s rumbling volcano decided to erupt. Not a quiet affair and surrounded by scousers on their way to the match. There was calls of – UGH! YUK! and ‘Get it up lad’. All thinking that he’d had a skinful and having a dig at my cooking. Well as they say better out than in.

The two weeks flew by and it was that dreaded time to get back on the plane, back to my world number two. For some reason the in- flight meal wasn’t as exciting on the way back. I was greeted by newspaper headlines ‘Hippos and monkeys reduce rice yields’. What a contrast to ‘Jordan breaks an eyelash while winking at hubby number ?’ Like I said – two worlds.

No sooner was I back and I was whisked back up country to complete lesson observations. We covered the same area so it was nice to do a bit of follow up, some students had actually heeded our words. We had a couple of different overnight stops. One in a little village where myself and Catherine shared our little hut with the only female teacher in the school. We had an eventful night in store. I was happily in the land of nod, dreaming for some reason about hedgehogs, when visitor number one ran over my legs. I screamed, kicked Mr Rodent into the darkness but not being a David Beckham with pinpoint accuracy it landed on Catherine’s face which resulted in more screams. Still our host in the next bed did not wake. Mr Rodent ( I am calling him that because he seemed half way between a mouse and a rat) ran into a huge crack in the wall. I stuffed my trousers in the crack to either suffocate him or keep him out. How naive were we! He made his way out the other side of the wall came back in through the open door and when we had both just about dropped off again decided to fall between us from the roof causing more yells and commotion. Our next plan was to keep a torch on between the two of us which seemed to work for a while until a huge flying beetle was attracted by the light and ended up in my hair, more commotion. I did after much banging and clattering manage to kill that one. Morning could not arrive quick enough. We apologised to our host who politely said that she didn’t hear a thing - impossible. The story caused great hilarity between the male members of our group. Never a dull moment.

June’s tip for the month – Improve your kicking skills before sleeping in a mud hut.

Home for the night with the village kids

Meet the neighbours

Preparing dinner

The happy team